It's so secret that my dating history has been a bit, well disastrous. After my last loser boyfriend, I decided I needed a little man break. Honestly, the longer I'm away from them, the less I miss them. It's true that I have a love hate relationship with men. I love how they look, give me attention, can change a flat tire, and can kill bugs. I hate how they're almost all idiots.
No I don't hate men as a gender. I have male friends. I work with a lot of talented, competent, great guys, too. It's just the boyfriend factor. Despite my bad experiences and distrust, I realize I can't swear off men forever. And therefore, I'm trying to be nicer to the boys I meet (ugh).
Though I feel I can take on the challenge independently, my friends and (more recently) colleagues disagree. I think it's the way they show their love...lol
And with that, I thought I'd share with you some of their best "setups gone wrong".
-One night my very best friends and I were all out at a dance club. Though they were all there with their boyfriends, they started scanning the room for potential hotties...for me. Five minutes later, I see them sauntering over to an entire table full of obviously flamboyantly gay guys. They're all talking until I see my friends point me out in the crowd. Shock and awe. That is the only way to describe the look on our faces, the guys and mine that is. My friends just looked innocently confused.
- That very same night, my friends tried to set me up with these enormous, scary football players. I fled the dance floor when I saw the Hulk getting up to come dance with me. My friends found me hiding in the ladies room.
- Once, my friends encouraged me to give my number to a cute guy, even after he told us to call him, "The Cheese".
- One of my friend's boyfriends moved into a new apartment with a couple of guys. My friend was adamant that she was going to set me up with one of his new roomies. When I asked questions like, What does he look like? or What does he do?, she just shrugged and said she'd never met either of them.
And so I continue living my life by one of my favorite quotes:
“There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy...like nailing jelly to a tree for example.”
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Eeekkk. Of all of them, the table of gay guys sounds like the best option!
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah, friends must really stop trying to fux us up, right? (Yes, I mean to say that. It started out a Freudian slip.) So many of them can't stand people without partners. I think we ought to start a group with that name. Or this one: Stop Trying to Fux Us Up.
ReplyDeleteSet ups are awful. One day, when you least expect it, you'll meet the guy. Until then, keep trying with the jelly.
ReplyDeleteStill laughing at the Hulk one! LOL
ReplyDeleteMEN are like elephants... fun to watch,,, fun to feed,,, fun to play with... BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO OWN ONE ! ! !
ReplyDeletehere's another -> all men are "hoovers" they ALL SUCK !
Beth is right; when it's Mr. Forever it will all fall into place as it should. I knew my husband for almost 2 years before we went out on a date and I certainly never thought he'd be the one.
ReplyDeleteThe CHEESE, yeah, I would steer clear of that one.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm almost sorry I stumbled in to "Man Hater Central" here, but "HI!"
ReplyDeleteI'm not about to try to defend my gender here (we do suck, after all), but let me add my two cents. "Fix ups" in my opinion don't work so well because there's always the "expectation". You're better off being patient and eventually you'll meet the right guy in a non-contrived situation.
Just one idiot's opinion.
You're right, nice guys are hard to find. Good looking nice guys are even harder.
ReplyDeletePlease come and visit me next week, I think the 23 June, or the 24th, and I've a little something for you... Take care, Fhi x
ReplyDeleteOh hell .. I'd have given my number to The Cheese .. just for the entertainment value of telling my friends & family .. hey! I'm going out with the cheese, or .. I have to talk to the cheese now .. and not explaining what it meant. teehee
ReplyDelete