I'm all superior and shit

Did you ever end things on a really bad note with a friend or a boyfriend?

And then after it goes down you start feeling bad, like you don't want to go out on the crazy beeyotch note, but instead want to go out in a way that conveys the mature, positive thinking, happy for him girl you are. Basically, you want to be all superior and shit.

And so you text him:

"Hey, I'm really sorry about before. I was hurt and I flipped out. I don't want to have these bad feelings between us. I don't think we should be friends, but I do wish you well."

And then he's all:

"Ok, that's fine."

And you're all:

"Is that an angry fine or a neutral fine. lol" (You add the lol to keep it light.)

And he says:

"idk lol" (He says this because he's illiterate but also trying to keep you from losing your shit. It means, "What will keep you from yelling at me?")

And you're all:

"Well you have no reason to be angry with me.'' (You say this because even though you're trying to apologize, it's only on the condition that he's in the wrong and you are 100% right.)

And he's all:

"You're the one who wanted to be friends and now that I'm talking to someone else you don't want to be my friend."

And you're just trying to go out on a good note with:

"That's funny, because we were definitely not just friends...and I said that last week because I didn't feel like I trusted you and I freaked out.. but then I apologized and said I wanted to try.. But somehow you've been cultivating this new thing that you have for quite some time...Obviously I was right not to trust you!"

And then he tries to diffuse you with logic (Ha, like that will work!)

"Well you never said anything but friends."

And then you say to hell with it:

"Whatever, go hang out with your skank. Later."

Hmm...So much for going out on a good note...

**This happened a couple weeks ago. The EX and I are back on good terms...or something like that...