I got my fitness on, and my body was all "wtf?"

I gained four pounds after going on the pill. Plus I bloated up to high heaven. Then I went to the beach. My face looked like an inflated beach ball. No joke.

Needless to say, I was a little traumatized. I have the potential to be what I like to call, "a hott piece of ass". I realize that being attractive is not the most important thing in the world. I'm smart, funny, and am really good at what I do. Even so, I also want to feel really good about how I look...for me. I'm lucky to have a pretty face and a good shape. It's just covered by a layer of chub right now.

After the beach, I came to a realization. I'm in my twenties. If there is ever a time when I could stage a come back, it is now. I put the candy down and joined the gym, because I know the combination that I need to get fit--peer pressure and a monetary commitment. If I have to pay for the gym, I will go. If there are people watching and judging me while I'm there, I'll actually try...to avoid looking like the gym fattie.

I've been going non-stop for a week. It is AMAZING how fast you see results. My face has already deflated, and I thought I was sooo cool, up on my high horse over my hours of cardio--that is until I went to a pilates class last night.

I did pilates and yoga all through high school and college, so I thought it would be a good workout for me. What I didn't think about was that I haven't done any kind of muscle toning or core work in months, and apparently when you stop doing stuff your muscles turn into jello and you almost cry during class.

Seriously...And it didn't help that the instructor was not messing around. And she had the most annoyingly positive disposition EVER.

Suzy Freaking Sunshine: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1--20 more!

Me: You bitch...

Suzy Freaking Sunshine: You're all smiling! You are LOVING it!

Me: I may actually puke...In pilates...There are old people here kicking my ass...

She also had us doing all kinds of moves while laying on the giant exercise ball. I almost flew off that thing like 5 times...

Needless to say, I cannot move today. Everything hurts. It hurt to breathe this morning. It was a rude awakening.

However, I will say that my legs hurt so bad that I have made significantly fewer trips to the refrigerator today...