In my panic place

Today was officially craptastic.

Last week, I hired a carpet cleaning company to come and clean the carpets in my entire apartment. We've lived here for over two years now, so there was the built up dirt...And I had just spilled half a bottle of nail polish in my bedroom. It was time. The estimate I got on the phone was $165 for my two bedroom apartment. We also have a living room and a small dining area. I thought that was really reasonable.

The guys got here (two pimply 20 year-olds) and I kid you not, could not even talk to me. I don't know what their issues were. I explained exactly what I wanted done, all rooms with furniture moved ( I payed extra for that.), the stairs, and the nail polish that looked like blood splatter. Then, I left because they were creeping me out and it smelled funny.

While I was gone, I went to look at a one bedroom junior apartment in the complex in which I live now. My sister is moving at the end of this year, and I can't have other roommates because I'm an antisocial lunatic. I currently pay around $400 dollars a month for my lovely, spacious apartment with private entrance and three enormous walk in closets. The one bedroom would be $700 a month. No private entrance, no beautiful balcony, one tiny closet, SUFFOCATING.

Needless to say, I was in a state when I left.

When I came back to my apartment, the guys were finishing up and told me that I could take a look at my room, because it was done. I knew immediately that none of the furniture had been moved.

I came out and said, "Did you move the furniture?"

He said, "Yes, everything but the bed."

Then I start thinking, "Why the hell were the beds not moved?!" but I was on a mission, so I clarified, "Really, even the solid wood dresser in my master bedroom?"

He said, "Yes."

Obviously he didn't not realize he was dealing with an obsessive compulsive, control freak, detail oriented maniac that knows the exact location of every piece of furniture in her apartment and can tell if and to the millimeter it has been moved.

So then I started to get my Judge Judy on, and said, "Hmm.. Really, I find that hard to believe because there is nail polish all over the floor underneath the dresser, and it has NOT been moved."

After he looked at it he started stammering, "Well actually I ran out of solution for that...I have some other stuff but I'm not sure if it will work..."

I was all over his ass. I paused, looked at him with my angry face then said, "Well, you can use whatever you need to, because I want this cleaned and I expect it to be clean." Then I stared him down while leaving the room. Just so he knew I wasn't messing around.

Funny how he was able to get it all up within two minutes. When it came time to write the check, I was still mad, but they finished the job, and so I decided to be nice--until he said it would be $270 dollars. They charged me extra for the stairs and $60 extra for the nail polish.

I just wanted them out of my apartment so I payed. Big mistake. After they left, I started to inspect a little more thoroughly and realized that none of our bedroom furniture was moved. Not even my floor lamp. There is trash and crumbs under my bed, and lines around everything where you can see the rest of the floor was cleaned. It didn't even look like they had cleaned my sister's room.

I looked at my sister and said, "Girl, hold my earrings!" She just looked very nervous and uncomfortable because she doesn't like confrontation or when I get ghetto.

Somehow, I managed to keep it classy.

I called the office and explained how dissatisfied I was. They were nice and wanted to rectify the situation by sending the guys back. I explained that those two losers were not to ever come back to my apartment, but they could send someone else tomorrow. I may have also demanded that the manager call me at his earliest convenience.

I spent the rest of the day being pissed and looking for other apartments. Then my mom told me I might have to move home if I don't get a full time contract job this year.

Things that will happen if I have to move home:

I will be 400lbs from stress eating.

I will have to be heavily medicated.

I will be one giant hive from the stupid dog.

Don't worry though. My dad said he would drive me to work everyday...

I wish you could see my eye twitching...