Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Spark, and It's Like Gasoline or I've been here so long that people are starting to give me looks...

I am such a procrastinator. I've been sitting at a cafe for over 3 hours trying to make myself write a 1 page response paper. So far, I've watched two episodes of Teen Wolf, caught up on my blog reading, researched my new veneers, and listened to the preview of every song on Britney Spear's new album. And I haven't started the damn paper.

I think this is probably part of a larger "engaging in self-destructive behaviors" pattern that includes eating shocking amounts of candy, staying up late when I know I'm going to be tired the next day, and texting exes.

Speaking of which...I did something kind of bad a couple of months ago, but I don't feel bad about it, which then makes me feel bad. Exactly.

Anyway, I may or may not have *cough* hung out with an ex who has a girlfriend. You can interpret that hung out with how you choose, but I think that you probably get the idea. It felt really validating, and I'm not sure why, because he's not that attractive anymore, and I don't want to date him. I've realized that I need to date someone who I can bring to work functions and not be fearful of what he's going to do or say. I have enough trouble not being "that girl" at the Christmas party without having to worry about my boyfriend, too.

For example:

I've been thinking about going back to therapy to discuss these self-destructive behaviors, but I find that therapists want you to be serious about your issues, and I'm not. I think they're kind of funny, and that seems to be frowned upon. Apparently, you're not really supposed to think about what your opener will be at your session.

1 comment:

  1. My last boyfriend was a complete embarrassment and I didn't even invite him to work functions...

    but when I have a date that goes badly I call him and he buys me coffee and tells me how pretty I look.

    It's sick.